When God called me back to Montgomery last May, I had no clue it’d look like this. Last May, I thought it was for the summer. As the summer went on, I could tell God wasn’t planning for this to be a summer thing. When I made the decision to not go back to Auburn I surely thought it was going to be for a semester or two. I remember one night at 8th Street a couple spoke about going overseas for a year and they talked about how a year really wasn’t that long. Think about last year at this time.. it seems like yesterday! When I what I call “officially accepted my call to ministry” and my career path to become chaplain in a children’s hospital, I made the decision to go to Huntingdon. Thought I’d study some ministry, invest in my girls’ everyday lives, enjoy my own bed and some home cooked meals.. I didn’t know if this was going to be a semester, a year, three years, I didn’t know God’s plan but I trusted Him. I will say that if you had told me two years ago when I graduated high school that I’d be 20 and living at home, I more than likely would have laughed at you. But if you’ve read my earlier posts, you’ll see I’m a lot like Sarah because I laugh at God all the time. He is crazy!! I’d probably do a whole lot more than laugh if God told me I was going to have a baby as an old woman. Just trust me on that one!
Over Christmas break I began putting my things back together for Auburn and I’ve been doing that ever since. I love Auburn. My friends are in Auburn, my college ministry is in Auburn, shopping is better in Auburn, eating is better in Auburn. Everything is better in Auburn. I live on my own in Auburn, I live with my friends in Auburn. BUT my girls aren’t in Auburn, my Children’s Ministry is not in Auburn, so many people who bless my life immensely and who are the reasons I wake up smiling are not in Auburn. I babysit the most wonderful and amazing children in Montgomery. Babies I couldn’t go a week without. Some days I think how am I supposed to leave something so great that God has placed in my hands for my own wants. But other days I let the happiness I lack for myself make me think how am I supposed to stay here while all my friends are living the blessed life in Auburn and in college. Sororities, swaps, formals, spring break trips, 2am sonic runs, library nights, football games, the student center.. I could go on and on. Social life is so important for sanity. Personal life is so important for sanity. Friends are so important for sanity. But then God reminds me my life has never looked like anyone else’s. I have a social life, a personal life, friends.. but my life looks different. My life has always been different. God has never given me normal circumstances for anything. So why do I expect it from Him now? What if my college life is middle school girls and Children’s Ministry?
I don’t really have a plan. God has a plan. I don’t know where I’m going from here. I don’t know if I’m going back to Auburn or if I’m staying in Montgomery. My thoughts change every day. I don’t even know what I’m having for breakfast in the morning. “I don’t know what my future holds, but I know who holds my future.” (Tim Tebow) Who holds your future? What do you do when you don’t know what to do? My life is a beautiful chaos. Every day my mind changes, I learn something new, I think something different, but God never changes. (See Malachi 3:6 and Hebrews 13:8)
“Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.” James 1:17
You can always count on Him to be real, to be secure, to be sure, to be the same. No matter what you’re facing He will be there. “So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
He isn’t leaving you. Don’t feel like you have to have your life all together to be a Christian, to be a child of God. That’s what He is for, that is why Jesus died on the cross, because we are imperfect and we have to have God. Without Jesus, without His crucification on the cross we would not be able to know God, speak to God, spend eternity with God. We are absolutely nothing without Christ, He is the only reason to have hope and peace. Hope of a future in eternity with Him and peace until we get there. Having Christ is having joy in any situation and having peace amongst all the chaos this world throws at us. I hope you have Christ, I hope you know the joy and peace I am speaking of. If you don’t please do not hesitate to contact me.
“It often requires much greater faith and courage to trust God’s plan by staying at your post than it does to chase your dreams by leaving!” – Christine Cain via Twitter @ChristineCain