When you look up “Fatherless Girls” on Pinterest, google, any website you mostly get mad girls, women whose dads left them. You see pictures and stories that say “Dad, I made it without you.” “A Letter To The Father That Doesn’t Know How Awesome I Am.” Things about forgiveness, ways to look past the fear of losing someone else. Statistics of all the girls living without dads who grow up to give into sexual temptations because of their loss, or abuse, neglect or just simply the way their dads made them feel. So many girls today are living with pain caused by their fathers. I can’t speak completely for my dad, but I can bet you $5 he would tell you to never leave your daughter, never choose anything over her because one day the chance will be gone.
You won’t always have the days with your daughters that you thought you would. Maybe you will. And I hope you do. But nobody is promised. And if you are blessed with those days, you get the choice of how those days will look.
So I want to write a letter to all dads. Those who have the choice to make sure their daughter never feels the need to say “Dad, I made it without you.” –
To All Dads Of Daughters,
Choose her. Over work, over friends, over sports. You can finish the report tomorrow, you can meet for drinks another night, you can watch the highlights after bedtime. Tuck her in every night. When she asks you to lay down with her, lay down with her. Never let her feel like you would rather be anywhere else. When she wakes you up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare, do everything in your power to make her feel safe and tell her that you will always protect her. That God will always protect both of you. Tell her how much you love her and how much more God loves her. That will never change.
Show her how much you love her mom. Never hold back loving her mom in front of her. Be the husband to her mom that you want her to have one day. Set the bar so high on how much you love her and how much you love her mom that she will only accept the best she deserves in her husband. Because God has the best for her. Tell her how much she means to you and how much more she means to God. Always make her feel like the only girl in the entire world. And she will never settle for less in a husband. Tell her that no boy ever deserves any part of her if he isn’t willing to stay forever. Tell her there is no boy ever good enough for her but be open to whoever she brings home.
When you let her down, because you will, apologize. Tell her that you never want to hurt her but you are imperfect like we are all imperfect. Jesus came into this world because we are imperfect and we need Him every day. Without Him, we will let everyone down every day. Without Him, we can do nothing. Don’t ever let her forget how much we need Jesus. Take her to church. Let her see you lead her family. Lead the family prayers at dinner, pray with her before bed. Show her how important God is to your life and how important the role God has given you as the man of the house is. You are to lead the family in your Christian walk. Don’t ever back away from that.
Coach her in sports. In life. In friendships. In relationships. Don’t ever put her down. Don’t ever yell at her for making a mistake in sports. There are more important things than winning the game or making the basket. When you are the coach, don’t play her all the time. Let her sit on the bench so others can play. And don’t bench her for making mistakes. Don’t call her out and isolate her when she does something wrong. When she makes mistakes, first tell her how much you love her. Tell her that no matter what she does, you could never love her less. Because God loves the same way and we are called to love each other the way God loves His Son. Unconditionally. Then tell her how you are going to help her make the next best decision from there. She will remember the things you tell her when you should have been mad or disappointed and you chose grace and love.
Pray over her. Every day. Pray for her heart. Her friends. Her teachers. Her school. Her Sunday school teachers. Her future boyfriends and future husband. Every person she will ever meet. Pray that they love her just as much as you do.
You won’t be the only influence in her life, but you will be the biggest. A daughter needs her daddy. No girl should ever live without her dad. Whenever you can help it, don’t let your daughter ever feel that feeling. The feeling of “Fatherlessness.” Whether you make a big deal of work, drinks, winning, etc or you make her a big deal, her mom a big deal, your family a big deal.. she will always remember how you make her feel. If you are there for her, she will remember.
Don’t waste the time you have with your daughter. Spend time with her. Because you can. Be the dad that’s legacy lives on forever. Be the love she feels for the rest of her life, even after you’re gone.
The Girl Who Wants One More Day