Girls will be girls or Girls will be like Christ?
I was recently at an outreach youth event that started out in a large room. I watched groups form. Mostly I watched forming crowds of pushing and shoving as girls competed for the attention of the group. Chaos. Girls running from group to group, laughing, cutting up, having fun, dancing and being girls.
While all this fun was going on, I also watched one girl who stood on the outside of the crowd. Following her friends, but they weren’t talking to her. Or looking at her. Or acknowledging that she was even there. She would laugh when something happened the group thought was funny. She would try anything to get into the group. But she didn’t look like them. Talk like them. Act like them. And the group was making her know that.
She’d do anything for the group to notice her. Include her. Accept her. Look at her. And most of us know.. that’s a scary place to be.
I know because I was that girl too.
As I watched this unfold, my heart absolutely shattered. I couldn’t stand to watch it. These girls were completely ignoring her on purpose. These girls that proclaim Jesus in their lives, go to church every time the doors are open, lead and attend Bible studies at church, school and in their communities and post Bible verses on Instagram.
So what do we do as parents and leaders when there isn’t anything you can do? I couldn’t go into these groups and tell them they needed to pay attention to their friend. As adults, sometimes we can make things worse. We want to micromanage every detail, action, word and reaction our children have. We want to tell them exactly what to do and we expect them to do it. But this causes reliance, rebellion and rejection. As leaders in our children’s lives, we need to be encouraging them to respond, react and realign their lives with Christlike actions and attitudes.
In a world of Reliance, Rebellion and Rejection.. Encourage Your Daughter To:
1. Respond with Christlike Actions
When others are leaving someone out, respond with Christlike actions of inclusiveness. It’s as simple as Romans 2:11 “For God does not show favoritism.” When we pick and choose who we will respond to with Christlike actions and attitudes we are showing favoritism. We are choosing who deserves our acceptance.
We are all made in the image of Christ. Every single one of us. God sent His Son to die for every person. Not only the cute, funny, and popular girls. This isn’t about liking everyone and being friends with everyone. It’s about showing Christ to everyone. If your daughter doesn’t like someone or has a hard time finding something good about someone, lead her to look in the Bible about what God says about His children.. including her. That’s always a good place to start.
“So God created mankind in His own Image, in the Image of God He created them; male and female He created them… God saw all that He had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning–the sixth day.” Genesis 1:27, 31 (God only described His Creation “very good” after He created man.)
2. React with Christlike Attitudes
When we leave others out, ignore others, exclude others.. we are reacting with a unChristlike attitude. Whether it’s because someone is different than us, or they have been mean to us, or we just don’t get along. Those are really difficult times to react with Christlike attitude. But as Christians we are called to have the same attitude as Christ.
When in a crowded room, look for those left out. Our tendency is to be selfish in a way of worrying about ourselves and giving into our insecurities. But encouraging our daughters to look beyond themselves and instead of trying to impress the group surrounding them, she might be able to look for others who have already experienced that rejection. When we look at others as better than ourselves, others will see Christ through the humility and kindness of reacting with Christlike attitudes. Looking out for others will build friends around your daughter that will in return look out for her.
“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.” Philippians 2:3-5
3. Realign with Christlike Actions and Attitudes
As Christians growing up in 2016, our daughters should be realigning their lives every day. We all should. With the filth of social media, news, Netflix and music, realigning our lives every day with Jesus Christ is crucial, especially to our daughters who are growing up in a world of ALL GRAY, no black and white. They don’t know what’s right and wrong except from what you have taught them, church has taught them and what they know from the Bible.
Reading the Bible, spending time in prayer, listening to Christian music, being surrounded by Christian influences, going to church and Bible study.. these are crucial to the daily realignment of our lives and our daughters lives. It’s not just fluff, it’s truth, protection and essential.
Our girls aren’t going to know how to react and respond in Christlike ways if they are not surrounded by it in their personal walk with Christ. “ I can of Myself do nothing…because I do not seek My own will but the will of the Father who sent Me.” John 5:30
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s Will is—His good, pleasing and perfect Will.” Romans 12:2
This is our goal in our attitudes & actions:
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven.” Matthew 5:15-17